Ici (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} mordred_risika) wrote,@ 2008-03-05 00:37:00 |
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| Current mood: |  contemplative |
| Current music: | Panic at the Disco |
The Ups and Downs of Getting Beat Up
Things have been a bit rough the last few days. I found out I didn’t even make it to the interview stage for a job that I thought I would get no problem. So it has caused me to be in a panic about what I am doing this summer. I want to stay here more than anything (ok that is a lie, there are other places I would rather be and doing, but I just can’t…). All the panic, worry, and rejection have really been tough on me. I think not really resting over break is also catching up with me. I hate how I am when I am this stressed and angry/depressed/emotional, I get angry at people who are only trying to help. But there is just something in me that dies every time I have to try and sell myself to all these companies.
Anyway, before I just go off and keep complaining, I wanted to focus on the good. I decided to go and help out a friend at his private lesson in ninjiitsu. Basically I got beat up for a couple hours, and it was wonderful. Whenever I train I can’t think about anything else, which means I can’t worry. When I’m stressed it is one of the few things that calm me down. Plus there are the people, and they are like a second family to me at times. It was great just being with a group of them and talking. I don’t know what is going on this summer, or if I’ll be happy wherever I am, but things are never as bad as I think (one perk of being a pessimist!). The only problem is one of my arms is really sore today, but it’ll heal.
