I have been so busy lately that I haven’t been on LJ in a couple months. And it would have been longer but I need to talk today.

For those of you who don’t know, today is the 10^th anniversary of Matthew Shepard’s death. 10 years ago today Matthew died after spending 5 days in coma after receiving a severe beating. His skull received trauma that is usually seen in car crash victims. He was beaten, tortured and left outside to die. The cyclist who found him thought he was a scarecrow, and the policewoman who found him didn’t recognize him when she finally saw a picture. The only parts of his face that wasn’t covered in blood were the tracks from his tears. He was killed because he was an out gay man. His killers, who will remain nameless here, claimed that when Matthew came on to them they “panicked” and killed him.

It’s been 10 years, and some things have changed. More people are out, there are GSA in high schools and colleges, some states allow LGBT people to marry, some states allow LGBT people to adopt kids, some states have Hate Crime legislation. However, LGBT people are still being killed, abused, and harassed, sometimes to the point that they commit suicide. There is still no federal Hate Crime legislation, no federal right to adopt or marry.

On campus tonight I went to a candlelight vigil to remember and commemorate Matthew and too many other LGBT victims. As I looked around the surprisingly large circle illuminated by just as many candles, it struck me; all of us are potential victims. We are all either LGBTQ or allies that support us, and to the ignorant, bigoted people that makes us a target. As I hugged and held onto my friends we listened to the heartbreaking stories of just a handful of the brutality we face. Then with our candles burning out we planted rainbow flags, flags that each represented 5 people. There were way too many flags, way too many lives ended or crippled by hate.

It scares me to think that one day I could be one of those flags. I know that is not a very likely outcome, but it is a possibility. I am mostly out on campus as a bisexual woman, and am a co-chair of a Bisexual Club. I stand up for what I believe and my hometown is in a pretty conservative. In high school, before I even knew who I was, I had already had to put up with name-calling and harassment, and sexism. I wonder now would it have been worse if I was out? I think it could have been. The thought of what happened to Matthew doesn’t scare me for my sake, but for my family and friends. What would it do to them if they had to deal with something like that happening to me? I hope I never put my family through that pain, but at the same time I wonder, would they be proud of me? To know that I was out and proud of who I am, and who I love?

After 10 years and too many deaths, beatings, and keeping silent about our pain, all I can hope is that one day, these days of remembrances won’t be necessary. One day.

If you have any interest in learning more about Matthew Shepard and his AMAZING parents visit: http://www.matthewshepard.org/site/PageServer

Help spread the word to “Erase Hate”

Also for a list of GBTQ Hate Crime victims visit:

            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violence_against_LGBT_people

            www.TrueHateCrimes.com